I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
