remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
