i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
im holly from the hills drunk
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We're too hungover to prance.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
