took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
