When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
