you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
