i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
