I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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