We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize