no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
