Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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