I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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