Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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