I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We're too hungover to prance.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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