so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
