i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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