Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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