remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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