Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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