i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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