mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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