go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.