my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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