no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
