We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize