I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
