The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
