Me too!
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
