oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
