Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
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Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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