It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
