so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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