you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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