This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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