They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
