i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
