Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.