Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.