I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Less talking, more tequila
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"