youre lurking in front of me
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
only you would photoshop your dick
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
