Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
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Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.