And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
