Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize