were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
