Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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