What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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