You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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