Already got asked if we're dating
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
