All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
