i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
