If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
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