Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
