thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
