yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
