I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
