my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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