What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
