so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
