All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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