well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
