she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
