The maid of honor just puked.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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