dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
