i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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