You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
