Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
