Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
