I wanna passion pit in your ass
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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