I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
