Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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