Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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