Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
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She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
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I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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