but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
