Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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