i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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