Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
