he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
In other news, I just burned my penis
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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