I'm drive I can fine osifer
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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