I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
