I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
