Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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