im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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